So, you are extremely happy that your friend has found the person they want to spend the rest of their life with. You even, said “Yes” to buying that bridesmaid dress you will never wear again and the rental fee of the tuxedo you will wear once for 10 hours. Now, you wonder…How much do I spend and/or do for the bachelor/bachelorette party?
1. It is the responsibility of the Best Man or Maid of Honor to arrange the party
• All attendees are expected to contribute (time and/or money).
• Keep in mind cost and be sensitive to all budgets.
• Some people may not know they are to contribute, be polite when mentioning the costs.
2. Discuss with the Bride/Groom what they had in mind for the party…AND STICK TO IT
• Don’t surprise the Bride/Groom with a stripper when they said they didn’t want one.
• Respect the Bride/Groom’s lifestyle..while this party should be fun and crazy, keep it in check…and in good taste (relatively).
• This is your opportunity to pay respect and celebrate your friend…honor them, not disrespect them..you will earn a place in their circle forever
3. It is the responsibility of all wedding party members to either contribute time, money or both to the bachelor(ette) party…HOWEVER…
• Respect the financial constraints/time limitations some in the wedding party may have and don’t speak or think poorly of that person(s). When you agreed to be the Best Man/Maid of Honor, you agreed to take on all the responsibilities regardless of the amount of help you receive.
4. Be the proper Host(ess)
• Make an effort to obtain knowledge about the attendees on the guest list. Know their lifestyle, know their likely budget. Ask the Bride/Groom about the guest and their personality/likes and dislikes. Then find best way to manage the wants/desires of the bride/groom and the budget that each of the guests will have.
• Include an “easy out” option for the guest if they can’t afford the party or feel it isn’t appropriate for their lifestyle.
5. Clearly communicate the party information to the guests
• The more information for the guests to make a decision on their participation the better. This includes date, location, length of time, concept, cost and logistics such as transportation.
• TIP: Start a Google or Dropbox file with financial information and/or transportation (car pool) information so everyone can just check-in versus having to send out a dozen emails.
6. Ask for help!
• This means REALLY ask for help. Don’t assume that the entire bridal party can help. While technically the others should offer some assistance, a gracious host(ess) moves on and doesn’t make a scene when a bridal party member doesn’t hold up their end of the bargain. Don’t speak poorly of the other wedding party members to the bride/groom. You are creative, just make other arrangements. If a party member causing a problem…trust me, in good time, the bride/groom will find out and draw their own conclusions. You don’t need to add drama to the situation.
• There are others in the wedding party. While you are the leader, a good leader assigns tasks amongst the ranks.
• Be clear and concise on what needs to be done and set a deadline. Follow up with the individuals to ensure they are on track. If they have not, then offer to take on their responsibility without hesitation or drama.
7. Have fun and remember what this is about!
• When the night/weekend comes, have fun. Remember that this is about celebrating your friend; the love they found; and friendship. At the end of the day, if it all falls apart but you are all together with a bottle of wine and a campfire, it is a fun time. The more you plan and stay positive, the more fun the group will have. The best gift you can give your friend is an awesome memory.